Sunday, January 23, 2011

Football is pretty dumb.

This post was supposed to be about how much I hate the term "ManCave" and how stupid light beer commercials are.  That is for another day.  I watched a little football today; I used to be a rabid fan but have essentially lost interest completely.  I didn't even watch the Super Bowl last year.  When I was in college, I could watch football for two days straight, without a break.  I have no real problem with football, I just get bored watching it.  Don't worry, I can still identify when a defense is in Cover 2, Zone, or man, I can spot a zone blitz, and I understand the spread and West Coast offenses.  My boredom comes from lack of interest, not lack of knowledge (sadly enough).

Actually, I do have a problem with football.  I played through high school, and it is beyond a doubt the least democratic sport ever invented.  Out of 22 players on the field, only about 6 get to touch the ball, and only three or four do so with any regularity.  During football practices, very little football is actually played.  Mostly it consists of standing around with an uncomfortable helmet on while a coach acts like a game is more important than General Chamberlain's defense of Little Round Top at the Battle of Gettysburg.  At hockey or baseball practice, you get to play hockey or baseball, and everyone gets a chance to touch the puck/ball.  It also amazes me how much football talk there is on television; literally 24/7 on several channels.  Is it really that interesting that Brett Favre sent a woman a text of his junk?  Is there a woman in the world that really wants a penis text?  Gross.  

Regardless of my opinion, football is undoubtedly America's sport, and the rest of the world can't figure out why.  Back when I was flying, we used to go to the UK several times per year.  On the inevitable trip to the pub, the most common question I was ever asked by a local was what the hell offsides was all about in American Football.  I bet I heard it a dozen times.  I got pretty good at explaining it. They probably shouldn't throw stones, as their version of football doesn't end when the clock runs out.  WTF is up with that?

Go Packers.

Mr. French 

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