A blogger I know (not my bride) and I were having an interesting discussion this morning- she mentioned that there seems to be a trend amongst Mormon women bloggers to take pictures of themselves and post them online, showing everyone what they are wearing and what their hair looks like. This prompted the recall of a memory of mine- when I was in the Air Force, Mormon pilots I worked with tended to have "Glamour Shot" pics of their wives on their desks. Is there a Mormon glamour shot tradition? I don't know. Before anyone assumes I am Mormon-bashing in any way, I'm not. I'm simply pointing out what may be random coincidences
This conversation meandered onto the topic of how weird it is to take lots of posed pics of yourself and post them on Facebook or a blog. I was going to take one of myself as an example, but I am too lazy and vain already.
The discussion of Mormon photography trends eventually turned to a dissection of the Mormon religion itself. People love to criticize Mormons by saying it is crazy that a guy found some stone tablets in the woods less than two hundred years ago and the faith was born. I say if you look at them objectively, all faiths make no sense- the Mormons's problem is their faith is too new- it helps to have several thousand years of wind at your back to make people believe you. The Book Of Mormon is no stranger than the Old or New Testament, the Torah, or the Koran.*
I have decided to start a new religious faith, as I discovered several stone tablets while biking, and the meaning of life was handed down to me by the one true God. Since I am his chosen vessel, I will relay his word over time. It is most important that I begin spreading my seed in order to expand the faith. The difference in my new faith and most others (aside from being so far un-named) is I will not use young girls to procreate- 32 years old and up is all I can tolerate, for several reasons. My wife isn't really ok with this yet, but things are pretty new and everything is on the table. I will wear a lot of comfortable robes, though. That one is non-negotiable. As are a total ban on skinny jeans, trucker hats, small dogs you can carry in a purse, tofu, and tallbikes.
*If you are a devout Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Mormon, agnostic, or atheist, I'm making fun of all of you equally, and with a warm heart. I believe in a higher power, as it explains the unexplainable. That's my idea, feel free to come up with your own. I embrace your faith (regardless of what it is), as long as you use it to elevate yourself and not to judge others that are spiritual (or not)in a manner that is different from you- the judging isn't your job. But you can judge those crazy bastards at Westboro, the guy in Florida that thought it would be wise to burn a copy of the Koran, and the Afghans that slaughtered some folks because of it.