Tuesday, February 22, 2011

And the winner is.....

And remember, the tiny kid was not in the fight.

This was a tough one; here is how it went down--
Mandrills are naturally curious.  The mandrill approaches the giant python, which is lying inert on the igloo floor.  The temps on an igloo floor are quite low, and the snake (being cold-blooded) is essentially in a comatose state.  As the mandrill rolls the snake around, the skunk, feeling threatened, turns and sprays the mandrill square in the face.  Instantly, his throat and nasal tissues are inflamed and begin to swell shut.  He howls in pain and fury.  He scoops up the skunk, and although nearly blinded, toothless, and wearing regulation (16 ounce) boxing gloves, he crushes the skunk with his jaws. 

The eagles are not taking too kindly to this.  They launch simultaneous but uncoordinated attacks.  Golden eagles have a wingspan of over 12 feet*, plus razor sharp talons and beaks.  The stunned mandrill is an easy target.  They draw blood quickly and efficiently, and focus their attacks on his head and neck.  This one isn't over though; the giant monkey** begins to gain the advantage when he is able to pin an eagle under his boxing glove.  He uses his other glove to punch/tear a mud puddle in the magnificent bird. 

Once one eagle is dispatched, the other quickly falls prey to the same tactic.  The mandrill has defeated the skunk and both eagles, but he is mortally wounded.  He is unable to breath well due to the skunk's attack, and the eagles have extracted a terrible toll- large, deep tears in the face and neck that are bleeding uncontrollably.  He slowly lapses into shock and bleeds out.  When the guy peeking into the igloo sees the mandrill expire, he oens the door and crowns our winner- the sleeping snake.

Mr. F

* I have no idea what their wingspan is, and I'm unwilling to look it up in an encylopedia or other such research tool.
** I wasn't sure if a mandrill was an ape or monkey, but then I remembered they are called mandrill monkeys.

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