Wednesday, February 23, 2011

So I made a little chili....

1" of snow, being enjoyed by the abominable snow beast.

Portland has about 1" of snow on the ground, and everything is cancelled.  I'm sure there is no milk, bread, or catfood on a shelf at any retailer.  What a bunch of Sallies.  Only on the West Coast is 1" a castastrophe.  OK, it is down south too.  Anyhow.....

This chili made me think a little.... all chili tastes and looks kind of similar.  So, no picture.  It was brown.  It tasted pretty good, but the recipe was in a seriously crappy format.  I skipped the brown sugar, and used poblano peppers rather than chilis.  I dutifully added the coffee, beer, and cocoa.  It tasted a lot like all the other chili I have made without these three things. 

Still, it was quite good.  I really like the small chunks of sirloin mixed in, and I made it a little spicier as well.  My gripes with the recipe mostly concern the lack of units of measurement; 1 can of beer meant 12 ounces to me, but to some it might mean one of those giant Sapporo cans- Japanese chili anyone?  It also calls for "chili sauce" which could mean several things.  I like a little improvisation, which is why I am a shitty baker.  So make some chili.  Or don't.

I originally bought ground buffalo (the Frenches eat buffalo instead of beef) and decided I would either make burgers or chili.  The night prior, we went to Killer Burger, which sated my burger craving.  Killer Burger goes down hard, so I followed it with a Metamucil chaser (Metamucil's role in my quest for the perfect poop is another long overdue post).  Mission accomplished. 

Here is my thought and question for you: a burger at Killer Burger is about $7.  They are delicious.  However, a double cheeseburger is $1 at McDonald's in Oregon (no sales tax).  I am bold enough to say I LOVE the burgers at McDonalds (and the fries).  I know it is horrible for you, but once every 6-8 weeks, I hit it. 

The burger at Killer Burger is way better than the McDouble, but not seven times better.  Is anyone else out there willing to admit they like McDonalds?  Stand up, and proudly fly your freak flag!

2 teaspoons oil
2 onions, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 lb lean ground beef
3/4 lb beef sirloin, cubed
1 (14 1/2 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 can dark beer
1 cup strong coffee
2 (6 ounce) cans tomato paste
1 can beef broth
1/2 cup brown sugar
3 1/2 tablespoons chili sauce
1 tablespoon cumin
1 tablespoon cocoa
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon cayenne
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon salt
4 (15 ounce) cans kidney beans
4 chili peppers, chopped

  1.  Heat oil.
  2.  Cook onions, garlic and meat until brown.
  3.  Add tomatoes, beer, coffee, tomato paste and beef broth.
  4.  Add spices Stir in 2 cans of kidney beans and peppers.
  5.  Reduce heat and simmer for 1 1/2 hours.
  6.  Add 2 remaining cans of kidney beans and simmer for another 30 minutes.
In my less than humble opinion, this is the most horseshit post I have ever created- chili is boring. 

Mr. French 


  1. this chili with the beer and coffee sounds like the recipe for the perfect poop. my chili is boring as i do the same over and over - chili mix, beef, black beans and rotel. but i like it with fritoes and cheese.

  2. ps - my secret at mcd's is to get them to dress up a quarter pounder like a big mac. less bread, more meat - yum

  3. Oh friend. We need to talk. McDonald's?! I did enjoy the bit about metamucil and your poop, however!